Doghouse?

The truth is today I have woken up and I don't know where I'm standing.

It's sad, because a week and a half ago I knew exactly where I was standing.

And I SHOULD know, and part of me knows, but part of me just thinks I don't deserve so many breaks. And then part of me is angry, because I've also given plenty of breaks.

Part of me doesn't know what to believe about what he really thinks, about whether he just says thinks because he's angry, or because they are constantly in the back of his mind, waiting to explode.

I just hope this is a bad day, and nothing else.

Cinco de la mañana

This blog is never updated because (A) I can't write and (B) living life is better than blogging.

I would like to announce that I am in Lyri-can't-sleep-mode. One, because I can't sleep, period. And two because my usual attempt at going back to sleep involves getting up to pee, but I have no toilet paper and my parents are still sleeping so I can't go into their room to get to their bathroom to get some goddamn toilet paper.

I am hungry but it's too early to eat anything because if I eat anything I will just be hungrier in class. I also can't eat because it would involve drinking juice and wanting to pee more than I already do.

Yesterday I was so happy I wanted to raid the entire Candy Shop because OMG SUGAR. Now I just want a comforting bar of chocolate.

WOW the difference between people and experiences is crazy. One can go from being in a totally insecure relationship to feeling like they want to rest in a person's heart. I like resting. I would like to be resting right now, when I cannot sleep.

I have an entire hour with nothing to do.

I could study but I have so much time this weekend that I don't see the use in studying at 5:18 in the morning.

Man, I could really use some chocolate.

Blah blah blah blah blah

I want swingsets.

Some people at work are starting to grow on me. I still find those particular people to annoying to spend even 5 hours with, but at least I don't hate them. I still hate others, because they are backstabbing assholes. Fuck you assholes.

My room smells like something I would rather not mention and I wish it wouldn't smell like that but it's not gonna stop smelling until I open a door and I can't open a door right now because my light is on and my fingers are typing and my parents could hear me typing and wonder, just as I do, why the fuck I am awake so fucking early without the alarm.

I really wish I could pee.

I'm going to pee and grab some paper from the kitchen and try my best.

Sleeping one last hour would be great in the needs-way but terrible in the it'll-be-so-much-harder-to-wake-up way. Although even if it usually works this way, tonight (or is it today) wouldn't work that way, being as I can't sleep for reasons other than not being able to pee happily.

Yes, paper from the kitchen because my pee build-up is starting to hurt.